Wardrobe Malfunction
by gawilliams
Summary: Booth has a slight wardrobe malfunction during the Jeffersonian Halloween Party.


_I was thinking of something to do for the recently passed Halloween, and this came to mind. I hope you all enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth was not so sure about the costume that Bones had got for him for the annual Jeffersonian Halloween Party. Oh, it wasn't what it was. He was now dressed up at his favorite super hero, the Green Lantern. But it was the cut of the suit that had him wondering about all this. Bones, not to be pedestrian in anything, had contacted some outfit in LA and had them custom make a Green Lantern suit like in the movie, and now he had it on. It was skin tight, and he had to wear a jock strap to keep Junior and the Boys from doing a little show and tell at all the wrong moments.

"Very nice, Studly," he heard Angela say from behind him.

He turned and saw the artist dressed as Marie Antoinette, elaborate wig and all. "I'm not some piece of meat to ogle," he defended, though he knew that when it came to most of the lecherous women at this Squint Heaven saw him as Prime Grade A Beef. Bones had told him that more than once when warning him to avoid certain women at all costs. Damn did she ever have a jealous streak! Junior and the Boys were still trying to decide if it was safe yet to come out of their shriveled hiding place after what he'd been told would be his fate if he had a bad case of wandering eyes, let along wandering body parts.

"I beg to differ, Agent Hot Stuff," Angela chuckled. "Skin tight latex costume, huh? Brennan must have really wanted to enjoy the view tonight."

"Booth is always a superb male specimen for examination," Bones said as she came up to them, giving Booth an appreciative appraisal. She had had the costume made after seeing the movie with him one evening and had thought to herself that Booth would look very impressive in such a skin tight latex costume.

"Bones!" Booth complained. He ordinarily enjoyed compliments on his looks, but this was downright embarrassing!

"You have a jock strap on, Booth, so you needn't worry about the outline of your penis and testicles being on display," Bones told him. She loved the beet red color that his face turned when she said that.

"I need to go and find some guys to commiserate with," Booth said and sauntered off trying to ignore the stares that the women were giving him.

"You do realize that he's going to be after some payback for that one," Angela chuckled in amusement.

"I'm counting on it," Bones said with a smile. She looked directly at Booth's firm ass in that costume and told herself to be patient. The party would only last a few hours and then she could take Booth home and have her wicked way with him.

Booth walked with as much dignity as he could muster to his friends. He had to laugh at Hodgins all made up to be Little Boy Blue. Apparently he had lost a bet with Angela and this was the penalty. He clapped the poor guy on the shoulder.

"Well, Hodgins, at least I don't have to go around looking like some Momma's boy in the short pants and Navy top!" Booth laughed. The guys around them laughed, too, earning them a cold stare from Hodgins that promised some retribution from the King of the Lab.

"At least I'm not going to be the one asking for help to take a leak, G-Man," Hodgins said with a little venom. Angela was going to owe him for this one.

Booth frowned. Bones had had to help him into this skintight nightmare, though he approved of the super hero, and now he was thinking of the one thing that he hadn't thought of. Damn! Why couldn't Bones get a normal costume format that has Velcro, or _**convenient**_ zippers? Instead he has a rubberized latex thing that would be great in the movies, those poor acting souls, but not for a one time Halloween Party which he'd rather have skipped and enjoyed some alone time with Bones in her new Wonder Woman costume which was even more eye-popping than the old one, if that were possible. And what the Hell was the sense in this seam, latex no less, that went straight along the crack of his ass? It made him want to apologize to every woman imaginable for ever wanting them to wear g-strings. This wasn't as bad, but if this felt downright awful, then he shuddered at what the women felt like. Then he felt it. Crap!

"I gotta find Bones and take a leak," he said darkly. "Thanks for putting that thought into my head, Numb Nuts!"

A torturous five minutes later he found Bones schmoozing with the donors. He went to her side, smiled politely at the Mucky-Mucks and then whispered in her ear. "Come with me," he told her. "I need help getting this damn thing off so I can use the bathroom."

Bones followed him, silently amused at his predicament. Booth must be mortified. But the look of him in that costume was worth it. When they reached her office, which he'd insisted on instead of a public restroom, she helped him with the concealed flat zipper on the back of the costume and then peeled the latex down, revealing his bare back and chest, and his package neatly encased in his jock strap. She took great glee in pulling the jock down and getting a good look at her favorite bedtime entertainment before leaving the bathroom so he could take care of business.

"Bones!" she heard him yell out.

She smiled and went back into the bathroom to help him. It was cute seeing Booth look miserable at having to have someone help him in the bathroom. Her big, strong Alpha Male was depending on someone else to help him get dressed after urinating. She didn't dare let on about her amusement, though. She would never be able to talk Booth into wearing a high end costume again.

She stood behind him and tried to pull the small, almost unnoticeable, zipper up, but was having some trouble. "Uh, Booth? The zipper is stuck," she told him.

Booth groaned. "This isn't happening," he muttered. A little louder he said "Yank the damn thing up, Bones. I don't want my ass showing!" He would never understand why anyone would make a costume with a back zipper that ran down the ass crack and a latex seal over it!

Bones yanked up on the zipper hard and it pulled up. She sighed in relief and placed the latex seal over the zipper. What she didn't notice was that the zipper had broke and was not sealed along the bottom half of the zippered portion.

"Next year, Bones, we stay home and celebrate Halloween," he told her. "And I pick the costumes."

She smirked. "What costumes do you have in mind?" she asked.

He grinned. "Adam and Eve!"

"You just want to spend an evening at home naked," she chided, though the thought of being naked with Booth at home all evening was rather appealing.

"Naturally, Bones," he told her. "And you can use your feminine wiles and seduce me into original sin."

"Original Sin was eating the forbidden fruit," she pointed out.

"Original or not as long as a lot of sin is involved in our next Halloween, Bones," he sighed, figuring that he should have known she would be too literal. "But just so you know, you were the forbidden fruit for six long years, almost seven, so I think a nice bout of sin is due me for my magnificent restraint. I can let Mitch call me a pervert at confession and clear the books with the Man Upstairs later."

"Why would Mitch call you a pervert?" she asked as they walked out of her office.

"Never mind, Bones," Booth replied, not wanting to tell her of all the many days in confession over the years for all the impure, covetous thoughts about her. She'd probably love it and want to act out all the thoughts, which he had no problem with, but she would also give him all sorts of grief about perversion and the Catholic Church, which was a bit trying at times. "I'm going to give Sweets a bad time about his costume," he told her.

Bones chuckled as he walked off, imagining all that he would be saying to Sweets about such a costume. She somehow doubted that it had been the last costume available that fit at the costume shop, but she would leave the teasing to Booth. He was much better at that sort of thing than she was. Instead she went to spend some time with Angela and Cam.

Two hours later Bones was having an interesting discussion about pagan holidays with Cam when she heard a shocked set of gasps come from over near the open bar and a couple of minutes later saw an angry looking Booth coming over to them, a blanket or something wrapped around his waist. She and Cam waited for him to get to them, and when he did he glared at Bones.

"We're going home, Bones," he said without preamble.

"What's wrong?" Bones asked, not quite wanting to leave just yet.

"Two words, Bones," he told her. "Wardrobe malfunction. A major one!"

Cam raised a brow, while Bones frowned.

"Malfunction? What sort of malfunction?" Bones asked.

"The kind where someone bends down and the zipper rips letting my bare ass show to all around!" Booth ground out between clenched teeth. "I knew this was a bad idea. Even Daisy saw the goods!"

"You do have a very fine ass, Booth," Bones teased just a bit, noting the very agreeable nod of Cam's head on hearing the assessment.

"Be that as it may, I do not like the idea of being a peep show for women to ogle me," he said with a slight amount of his dignity left. "And what's more, mooning everyone is not in the Super Hero rule book of good behavior!"

"Men ogle women all the time, Seeley," Cam pointed out, enjoying her friend's discomfort.

"And I will dutifully spend my time in Purgatory for being a lech, Camille," Booth replied tartly. "Now let's go, Bones. Chop, chop!"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Cam," Bones said as he followed Booth out.

Cam quickly shot a picture with her phone of him walking away and then burst out laughing when Booth was out of earshot. This was going to be good for a long period of giving Booth a bad time. She went to go find Paul and see if he was interested in leaving a little early, too. She loved Halloween.

_A/N: I know, not a great ending, but I felt the incident itself would be a good finish, with Cam and Bones being amused while Booth is contemplating some serious payback. I hope you enjoyed it. Gregg._


End file.
